LGBTQ: Part 4
I’m on sabbatical from work for the month. I’m also moving this month and have to get a house ready to move in. So from mid-July to mid-August, I’m going to post pieces of a blog post I wrote six years ago about my change of heart and mind about LGBTQIA+ people and the church.
This may not seem like something you’re interested in, and maybe it’s not. But there’s four reasons I’d encourage you to read:
1. Not too many people read it in full the first time. Many people got to “I think same-sex relationships that are monogamous, lifelong commitments can be holy before God” and quit reading. I’m breaking it up into digestible chunks this time, so if it makes you angry, you won’t have to read for very long.
2. If you’re LGBTQIA+ and have been hurt by Christians, maybe this will be a little healing.
3. If you’re a Christian who’s shifting on this issue, maybe this will be helpful in some way.
4. If you’re a church attender (or especially a pastor), maybe this will help you understand the difficulties of pastors who are changing their mind about LGBTQIA+ people and the church. I hope and pray more change their minds and are public about it, but I also know how painful and frightening it can be.
I hope you read. And I look forward to hearing from you about these things. Comment both positive and negative things below. I’ll read them all in mid-August when I’m back.
I’ve grown and changed somewhat since writing this, and probably need to update it to a 1.5 version, but this is verbatim what I wrote in 2019.
I wish I would have come to this understanding sooner. I wish I would have been as confident in my belief that same-sex marriages can be holy before God years ago. It has taken me a long time to fully get to this place, but I'm convinced that my early beliefs about homosexuality were wrong. I am convinced that scripture is not opposed to LGBTQ people.
It has taken me years to get to this point, and I don't expect that my words will change anybody's mind immediately. I imagine that these words will cause some difficulties in many of my relationships. However, I've been tasked by God to study and present his Word carefully and thoroughly. While my change of heart and mind may be costly, I cannot betray my convictions.
Moreover, I have a duty to my LGBTQ friends who have experienced so much pain from the Christian community. To those of you who have been hurt by people like me in the past, know that you are loved, and you have a place in the church today.
These words are not meant to shame Christians. However, it is important that we admit our part in the pain of so many people. It is important that we admit our hypocrisies wherever they are found. It is important that we admit when we've pulled specks out of the eyes of others while ignoring the logs in our own.
With that said, here's a list of things I'd like to see from the church, especially the conservative Christian church today
There are a few things that I have noticed from some Christians that I think are harmful and should really stop immediately. Even if you believe that homosexuality is a sin, and even if that belief is never going to change, here are some changes I'd like to see.
First, when the topic of homosexuality comes up, I've heard Christians say (an astonishing amount of times) one of the following three things:
"It's no different from any other sin, like pedophilia."
"It's no different from any other sin, like beastiality."
"It's no different from any other sin, like murder."
Let's move beyond the fact that comparing gay and lesbian people to pedophiles or people who have sex with animals is super offensive (and it is offensive), and instead point to the fact that Christians almost never compare their own shortcomings with murder. Or pedophilia. Or beastiality. I've never once heard a Christian who admits to having told a lie, and said "Well, I messed up. But it's just like any other sin, like murder." Internally, they might believe that no sin is worse than another, but the comparisons they make in conversation present an implicit hierarchy of sinfulness.
That's how it's communicated, anyway.
Second, jokes have a cost. If you make a joke in a room of people about which bathroom to use, or a joke at the expense of gay and lesbian people, it's probably going to hurt someone in that room. In a room full of people, there is likely an LGBTQ person present. There is also very likely someone with an LGBTQ family member in the room. Christians have made jokes like this for many decades.
I used to make them. All the time.
LGBTQ people have been pushed away from the church for a long time. Jokes like this just add to people being pushed away. Marginalized. Driven to depression. Driven away from the church. And if you consider yourself to be a follower of Jesus, driving people away from the church is probably the last thing you want to do.
Even if you think the joke is funny, it doesn't need to be told.
In fact, it needs to not be told.
Finally, meet with LGBTQ Christians. Get to know people of faith who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer. Take them to lunch. Continue to take them to lunch. Talk with them. Listen to them. Talk with them, not about them. Hear about their faith. Hear their stories. Your ideas about LGBTQ people might change like mine did. Or they might not. However, you'll definitely hear the pain that the church has caused them in the past. Your compassion for them will grow. And you'll learn how to be more loving and more Christlike toward a group of people that you may not have given much attention to in the past.
Showing love to someone begins by knowing that person.
Get to know some LGBTQ Christians.
I know how some people are going to feel about me going forward, knowing where I come from regarding LGBTQ people. I read the Nashville Statement. I know that in the eyes of some, my beliefs about LGBTQ people preclude me from being a Christian. I strongly disagree with that assessment (I very much agree with Ken Wilson, who calls this a disputable matter in line with what we see in Romans 14), but I can't stop people from believing what they will. However, I've made a commitment with my life to follow Jesus with every fiber of my being, and to be as honest in my interpreting of scripture as possible. I continue to do both of these things. I believe that I've done so here, and I'll continue to do so in the future.
Regardless of where you ultimately land on this or any other issue, may we constantly remember to be people who show the love that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13.
A love that is patient and kind.
A love that is not envious, boastful, or proud.
A love that is not selfish, angry, or score-keeping.
A love of protection, trust, hope, and perseverance.
May we show this kind of love to the LGBTQ community.
May we show it to one another.
Next week I’ll have a list of resources for further reading. Folks like me often need to dive deep to come to a conclusion on divisive things. Maybe those resources will help. They did for me.
What I’m listening to:
The Beths - Knees Deep
The Beths are one of my favorite new (to me) bands of the past few years.
The lyrics to this song are so relatable to me
The shame
I wish that I was brave enough to dive in
But I never had been and never will be
I'm coming in hot then freezing completely
The shame
I wish that I could say what I've been thinking
But I never have done and never will do
Still only knees deep
I'll never be brave like you