Not Ungrateful
That time I learned I can be a "sorry piece of s---"
In 2016, my church hosted a gathering of folks committed to helping those who are homeless in our community. It was an open discussion featuring multiple people who had themselves been houseless, and one who was currently houseless. Some of what I heard in this meeting shocked me.
I wrote down a few things I heard that day.
Warning: some disturbing things are mentioned below.
When you're houseless, your whole day is spent in a f—ing line for a haircut, shower, or feeding. You are not able to do anything else that day.
People need to eat seven days a week. People take the MAX (Portland's public transportation) and look twitchy not because they're tweaking, but because they got on illegally to go across town to get some food.
When I'm hungry I get mean and turn into somebody I don't like. I was hungry one day, and there was a truck with an open door, and I took a sandwich from inside the car and when the guy saw me, I dared him to come take it from me. I was hungry, and that's how I get when I'm hungry.
I used to put one bullet in the cylinder of my gun, and every night I'd spin the cylinder, put it to my head, and pull the trigger. I left it to fate whether I'd live another day.
There was a prejudiced person at a church that does meals, and he wouldn't give me anything because I took water from the church. You people are sorry pieces of s—.
As the person was telling this last story about being sent away from a meal, I remember wanting to defend the church and say something like, “I'm sure there was some other reason they sent you away.”
I’m so glad someone spoke up before me. They responded, “I'm sorry. Maybe we can talk to them.”
So, so, so much better than what I was thinking. Thank God they were there to keep me from being an insensitive dummy.
I really didn’t like having myself and all other churchgoers being called “sorry pieces of s—.”
But being sent away from a church after waiting all day for some food and water would probably make anyone feel the same way.
Conflict is complicated. People are complicated. Stories and experiences have multiple angles. Sometimes there is a clear answer or conclusion when two people are in conflict. More often, however, there are multiple things to consider.
A person's whole day is lost if they have to go somewhere to get a meal. That would be so frustrating.
Acting out in a church while waiting for a meal doesn’t make a person bad. As another guy said at the meeting, “When I’m hungry I get mean and turn into someone I don’t like.”
People are going to be angry or ungrateful sometimes when they are given food or clothing.
However, it is probably better to exert some patience when dealing with people we might consider “ungrateful.”
While someone's words or actions may seem ungrateful on the surface, there may be more angles that we do not know about.
Thanks for this one! I really appreciated it