I’m 40 as of today.
Well, yesterday by the time you’re reading this.
Technically I’m not over the hill yet. I’m on top of the hill.
I guess by the time you’re reading this, I’m over the hill.
I don’t know what’s on this side of the hill.
I’m hoping a little less depression.
I’m hoping a little less anxiety.
Or, if my depression and anxiety stay at the same level they’ve been, I hope I’ll at least be able to cope with them a little bit better.
I’ve spent a lot of my 30’s working through my mental health problems.
Lots of therapy.
Lots of medication.
Lots of prayer, which helped sometimes and not others.
I don’t actually think I’m going to have a better understanding of who God is (or isn’t), and what exactly I believe.
I think I’ve given up on that.
But I do hope in the future I’ll care less.
A life of worrying about what I believe (and what people will think of me based on what I believe) isn’t a fun life to live.
I don’t want to live that way anymore.
I hope my 40’s can be a time to let go of worrying about my beliefs or lack thereof.
I hope my 40’s can be a time to worry less about people’s opinions of me.
I’m not able to let go of those things just yet.
It’s a slow process, and I’m nowhere near getting through it.
But maybe by 50 I’ll be closer.
I hope the downhill side of the hill feels a little less angsty than the uphill side.
Maybe I’ll find a little bit of healing on this side.1
And if not, at least I’ll have plenty of material for this newsletter.
My buddy writes a lot about moving toward healing. Follow their Substack immediately. It’s great.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
He there David Happy Birthday! You share the same birthday as my husband ♥️ Laz turned 70 on April 4 yesterday I am having a surprise birthday party for him tomorrow Saturday April 6 th from 2-5 at the Willamette Cider House in West Linn♥️ Please join us with your family if you can for the celebration. It would be fun to have other Aoril4 th partners to celebrate. I know you will not know anyone other than me, but it will be a really fun friendly small group of people♥️. Lots of food and birthday cake🥳🥳🥳🥳Hope you will join us we would love to celebrate you too!