The Tunnel of Unwanted Touching
It was exactly as bad as it sounds
Our high school youth group went to a large youth event.
Much more charismatic than I was used to.
And a whole lot more intense.
With a bunch of weird moments.
A half hour speech about why Marilyn Manson is solely responsible for a bunch of people going to hell.1
A demand for us to simultaneously pray at our lockers; not to talk to God, but so that people would ask us what we were doing and we could share with them about Jesus.2
And weirdest of all, the Tunnel of Unwanted Touching.
We weren’t asked to go through the Tunnel of Unwanted Touching.
We were coerced.
Everyone had to do it.
Obviously they didn’t call it the Tunnel of Unwanted Touching. I don’t remember what they called it. A prayer tunnel maybe? Or a prayer line?
Whatever they called it, it was deeply uncomfortable.
Around three dozen youth leaders lined up side by side in two parallel lines. We were asked to move slowly through the line as every youth leader prayed for us.
We waited in a - I swear I’m not exaggerating - TWO HOUR LINE to enter the Touch Tunnel.
There was nothing to do in line except stare at the people in front of us, and look in horror at the activity awaiting us.
After two hours, I entered the Touch Tunnel where youth leaders began to pray for me.
And by “pray,” I don’t mean a short prayer.
Each group of 2-8 youth leaders did at least two minutes (sometimes much longer) of prayer for each of us.
The Tunnel of Unwanted Touching lasted at least half an hour.
The youth leaders put their hands on us while they prayed. But not necessarily on our heads.
I had hands quite a ways down my torso and back.
They didn’t leave their hands still, either. There was…….movement.
So, so, so much touching.
It was uncomfortable. So very uncomfortable.
And I’m a dude. The youth leaders weren’t touching anything on my body that would get them arrested.
I can only imagine what the girls in the room thought when they were being touched.
(Turns out they’d be right to worry. After all, many
youth leaders have committed horrifying acts of sexual abuse over the years).3
When I was about 2/3 of the way through the Touch Tunnel I started to feel faint. My vision started to go black, and I felt like I was going to collapse.
The youth leaders noticed, but demanded I stay in the tunnel. They held me up and continued to pray. I’m pretty sure I blacked out on and off while they held me up and prayed for me.
Looking back, I think I had locked my knees. Somehow or another, I hadn’t been taught in my first sixteen years of life not to lock my knees when I stood.
After exiting the tunnel, I hustled toward the rows of chairs to lie down and catch my breath.
A youth leader left the Touch Tunnel to come talk to me.
The first words that left his mouth: “God told me you’ve been using Ouija Boards.”
I hadn’t. I’ve never used a Ouija Board.4
I’d been taught that when you used a Ouija Board, you were talking to demons.
Or sometimes, the devil himself.
I don’t know why the devil would skip by some Ouija Boards and show up to others.
Most people merely get demons, but some poor suckers get the devil.
Seems like a lottery. The kind of lottery you don’t want to win.
I told the youth leader I’d never used a Ouija Board.
He called over three other leaders from the Touch Tunnel, and told them “This guy has been using Ouija Boards.”
I told the rest of them that I’d never used a Ouija Board.
The youth leaders prayed for me as I tried to recover from almost passing out in the Touch Tunnel.
While praying, the first youth leader to talk to me started casting out the demons inside of me.
The demons that came from the Ouija Boards.
The Ouija Boards I’d never used.
I told them yet again that I’d never used a Ouija Board.
The youth leaders began to pray away the demon inside of me that lied to them about my Ouija Board use.
My friends asked me later that night why the youth leaders prayed extra for me outside of the Touch Tunnel.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just said “I don’t know.”
Which I guess is true.
I don’t know what happened to the touchy youth leaders.
I don’t know how many other students needed extra prayer because they “used Ouija Boards.”
I don’t know if any students have trauma from the Tunnel of Unwanted Touching.
Probably so.
The touching was so very uncomfortable.
I really hope none of the youth leaders went to jail for worse touching. But it wouldn’t surprise me.
I hope to God the yearly youth event stopped doing the Tunnel of Unwanted Touching.
It’s easily the worst two-hour line I’ve ever waited in.
(It would have benefited greatly from a FastPass)
I’ve never used a Ouija Board, but I would use the WalOuija Board in a heartbeat:
Every answer would be “Awwww,” “Aaaaaa,” or “Waaaaa”.
Joy, fear, and sadness.
Three of the five Inside Out emotions.
That’s basically all you need.
Seriously.
Again, a story for another time.
But sure, trans kids and drag queens are the dangerous ones 🙄.
Not necessarily against them now. I just hadn’t personally used them.
Well this was horrific.
You didn’t pass out or get faint from locked knees. Not locking your knees isn’t to keep you from fainting. It’s to keep you from crashing like a plank when you DO faint. Unlocked knees mean you should mostly crumple.
You got faint because you were in an awful awful situation.
This is HORRIFYING, friend. On so many levels. I am so sorry. (and I just bought an Ouija board at goodwill for $1.99 just for fun)