I always want to give grace to Christians who are very slowly changing their minds on the Bible and LGBTQ+ issues.
Lord knows it took me a long time to change.
And far, far, FAR longer to tell anyone else, once I had changed my mind.
A lot of grace was, and still is, given to me for how long it took me to change my mind.
A bunch of people would have been a little less hurt, sad, or alone, had I been public about my convictions sooner.
But those same people have given me a lot of grace.
And I want to offer that grace as well.
I know how freaking hard it is to change your mind, while entrenched in churchy cultures.
At best, you’re looking at some tough conversations ahead.
More likely, you’re anticipating some broken relationships.
Small progress is still progress.
Baby steps are still steps.
And I do want to honor those things.
I feel different this year, though.
I've been captivated by this cartoon1 ever since I first saw it.
I’ll be honest: my immediate urge is to defend the sheep in the pen.
I hate that it’s my automatic response, but it totally is.
Churches don’t change quickly, and having been on the inside of church leadership for a couple decades now,2 I know the difficulty and pressure that comes with trying to change a church culture.
But the sheep in the pen aren't the ones who need defending.
The sheep in the pen aren’t the ones who die.
The wolves get the one outside.
And that’s what’s making me extra anxious this year.
I don’t know if there are more wolves these days, or if they’re just louder.
Either way, people seem to feel pretty safe making transphobic or homophobic statements these days.
Whether it’s talking heads on TV,
or internet commenters,
or politicians pushing bills that
organization rejects,
it feels more normalized than ever to hear bigoted things said to or about LGBTQ+ people.
I wish I was able to hear that kind of stuff and not let it affect me as much as it does.
But I can’t.
Because I personally know gay and trans people who have self-harmed, and some who have attempted suicide (in once case, successfully).
They specifically mentioned anti-trans laws, as well as hateful rhetoric directed at them and their communities, as their reasoning.
The wolves really do kill the sheep outside of the pen.
People really do die.
Mentally, emotionally, or even physically.
And I can't stop thinking about it.
Christian groups being anti-gay isn’t a new phenomenon. But it seems like lately, especially this Pride month, many, many, many Christian groups are drawing lines in the sand, and doing it loudly.
And your Charlie Kirks and your Matt Walshes and your Tucker Carlsons are making it pretty safe to do so.
They say the thing on their programs, so you can feel safe to say it on your social media feeds.
And then my LGBTQ+ friends see your social media feeds.
So looping back to this picture:
Why is it making me so much more anxious this year than in previous years?
I think it’s because I’m more aware of the red meat being thrown to the wolves.
I’m more aware that there are more wolves who now have a taste for meat.
And have their eyes on the lone sheep outside of the pen.
The one who’s not being let in to the safety of the pen.
Because those in the pen are “working on it.”
I want to give the sheep in the pen grace. All the grace in the world. I really do.
But I can’t help wondering how many sheep outside of the pen are in danger of wolves.
Are there more wolves than usual?
Or are they just more ferocious these days?
Both?
It kinda feels like both…
I can’t help wondering how many LGBTQ+ teens are looking for safety in their church communities and may never find it.
And who might experience depression, self-harm, or suicide as a result.
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I have zero plans to ever put anything I write here behind a paywall.
But if you want to financially support my writing, you’re welcome to do that.
Supporting me won’t get you anything tangible.
But you’ll make me smile.
And you’ll probably incentivize me to keep writing.
From David Hayward aka NakedPastor. Go follow him on all the things.
Has it really been that long? Gross. I feel so old.
Perhaps grace towards those who don't want to change their minds is not what is needed. Perhaps we need to take a stand against bigotry by affirming acceptance of all in our community. I'm ready for a day that is long overdue.