For years I’ve continued to come back to this question:
What happens when the person you’ve looked up to as a mentor, model, or pastor turns out to be a monster?
It’s hard for me these days to trust many pastors or ministry folks because….well…..
The whole freaking Southern Baptist Convention
CJ Mahaney/Sovereign Grace Ministries
John MacArthur and his church leadership
Spiritual leaders abusing their power is nothing new, but it’s definitely more noticeable these days.
Almost daily, I read another story of spiritual abuse, bullying, or sexual abuse by a pastor or church leader.1
Or a story about the church leadership covering up one of those acts.
And it’s wrong. It’s gross. It’s despicable.
But another thing it is, is easy. Super easy. Barely an inconvenience.
It’s easy for pastors to abuse their power. It’s easy for pastors to hurt their people.
Because people trust their pastors.
People trust their pastors, and their pastors abuse that trust.
What happens when the person you’ve looked up to as a mentor, model, or pastor turns out to be a monster?
The fallout from abusive pastors is intense and wide-reaching.
Folks are blindsided, and have difficulty trusting others later in life.
Communities and friendships are lost.2
Victims carry trauma for their entire lives.
All because a person is given power and trust, and uses that power and trust to harm.
Sometimes I wonder if my job, the thing I went to higher ed for eight years to do, shouldn’t exist at all.
Maybe there shouldn’t be pastors.
At least in the form that exists in the American church today.
I wonder if the job that I do is more harmful than helpful to society at large.
Should we get rid of the role altogether?3
Or at least put it in timeout for a long while?
I can already hear the responses.
“Most pastors aren’t like that.” “People need spiritual leadership.” “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” “This is just a few bad apples.”4
All possibly true.
But is it worth it for the Church to hold onto the pastor role if it results in people experiencing bullying, sexual assault, lifelong trauma, trust issues, and broken relationships?
It is worth holding on to the pastor role if it results in even one person experiencing those things?
Is the structure of the Church as we know it worth the pain and trauma that others suffer because of it?
Is my role, my job, hurting society and the Church more than helping?
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I have zero plans to ever put anything I write here behind a paywall.
But if you want to financially support my writing, you’re welcome to do that.
Supporting me won’t get you anything tangible.
But you’ll make me smile.
And you’ll probably incentivize me to keep writing.
I probably should unsubscribe from a few newsletters focused on church abuse, for the sake of my own mental well-being.
Highly recommend Jen Zug's substack
Maybe we should just stop giving it to straight white dudes. Like 99% of the scandals are straight white dudes.
Or any other cliche phrase that fits.
I think a lot about how counselors have a board and all sorts of mechanisms for people to report harm and for it to be taken seriously. The fact that so many churches/denominations don’t have this is a HUGE red flag (same goes for spiritual directors too!)
I've wondered this too! I'm curious if you have resources you could point me to about what the role of "pastor" was in the early church, of there even was one?