I have experienced the fringes of depression, and I know how debilitating it is. Your therapist knows their craft, but they can only draw the answers out from you. You’ve been attacked and threatened for acting according to the gospel, consequently exposing the hypocrisy of some people while helping others. It’s driven you to agnosticism, which can be hazardous to your career. These are both difficult to work through. But remember, you are not responsible for what happened. You did good. How people react is their problem.
I wish you good wishes for your recovery, and I am glad you and your congregation care so much for each other.
There’s a very good chance talk therapy isn’t what you need. I have talk therapy and it’s a soundboard for what’s happening in my life and loosely some CBT therapy is involved.
But it does nothing for sustained suicidal ideation or the physical symptoms of anxiety. Those required more trial and error than my medication did, and ended up being a combination of trauma-informed therapy practices and organized, structured physical movement. You already do the run thing. You may want to consider asking your therapist about a second therapist to work with that specialized in a modality
which involves physical movement during sessions like Somatic Experiencing
I have experienced the fringes of depression, and I know how debilitating it is. Your therapist knows their craft, but they can only draw the answers out from you. You’ve been attacked and threatened for acting according to the gospel, consequently exposing the hypocrisy of some people while helping others. It’s driven you to agnosticism, which can be hazardous to your career. These are both difficult to work through. But remember, you are not responsible for what happened. You did good. How people react is their problem.
I wish you good wishes for your recovery, and I am glad you and your congregation care so much for each other.
There’s a very good chance talk therapy isn’t what you need. I have talk therapy and it’s a soundboard for what’s happening in my life and loosely some CBT therapy is involved.
But it does nothing for sustained suicidal ideation or the physical symptoms of anxiety. Those required more trial and error than my medication did, and ended up being a combination of trauma-informed therapy practices and organized, structured physical movement. You already do the run thing. You may want to consider asking your therapist about a second therapist to work with that specialized in a modality
which involves physical movement during sessions like Somatic Experiencing
I’m sorry you are going through this. Tbh I thought only I had this problem. Therapy doesn’t seem to work for me either.